While it can common for our sex drive to dip as we mature, it might be time to seek help if it becomes a persistent problem. Here are the facts on low libido and what we can do to get our mojo back.
Fast facts about libido
- Libido fluctuates during the menstrual cycle, with sexual desire typically highest just before ovulation.1
- The secret to a happy sex life is accepting that your relationship requires a lot of hard work, according to Canadian researchers.2
- Men are more than twice as likely as women to rate their sex drive as above average.3
Around one in five men and nearly a third of women will find their appetite for sex slumping at some point in their lives.4,5
As we get older, those figures creep slowly upward, but a decline in the desire for intimacy is far from inevitable.
But don’t worry, there are plenty of ways to get the spark back.
It's important to realise that having a 'normal' sex drive is a myth.
Some people might think that having sex once a week is way too often, whereas others might crave it every day.
What causes low libido?
Figuring out the cause of a drop in our sexual desire isn’t simple as there are dozens of physical and psychological factors that may play a part.
For women, hormonal changes can have an impact, especially during menopause or when breastfeeding.6 In such cases, hormone replacement therapy (HRT) is widely prescribed.
For both sexes, high blood pressure, diabetes and coronary heart disease may also negatively impact libido, as can antidepressants such as Prozac and Paxil.7
Studies have shown that weight loss alone increases sexual desire in men because fat cells produce oestrogen, which can cancel out the effects of testosterone.8
Switching to a low-fat diet with plenty of fruit and vegies can reduce blood sugar and cholesterol levels, helping boost our sex drive even if no weight is lost.9
Many people think a gin and tonic or glass of beer helps them get ‘in the mood’, but drinking alcohol can lead to an inability to get or sustain an erection if a quick drink becomes several.
Need another reason to stop smoking? Smoking can cause problems with arousal and breathlessness, as it reduces blood flow to essential areas of the body.
A 2022 study found smokers are more likely to have low libido and more likely to experience erectile dysfunction.10
How can I relight my fire again?
The good news is that most people who seek help to rediscover their passion are successful.
A useful starting point is discussing the issue with our partner to resolve any problems and set aside time for intimacy.
“Relationship dissatisfaction is a top risk factor for low desire in women, even more than the physiological impacts of age and menopause,” according to a study of 299 Australian women by Swinburne University of Technology.11
Stress also plays a big part and can even interfere with our hormones, so it’s worth trying meditation, mindfulness and wellbeing activities.
If a Doctor finds the problem is physical, they may recommend additional testosterone or a sexual arousal booster such as Viagra for men and oestrogen for women.
Another option is introducing a water-based lubricant into your intimate moments as some post-menopausal women avoid sex due to vaginal dryness.
References:
1Medical News Today, Why am I hornier at certain times of the month? Accessed 12 February 2025
2Science Daily, Study reveals secret to a happy sex life, accessed 12 February 2025
3AARP, Ageless Desire: Relationships and Sex in Middle Age and Beyond, accessed 12 February 2025
4Cleveland Clinic, Low Libido (Low Sex Drive), accessed 12 February 2025
5WebMD, Why women lose interest in sex and what helps, accessed 12 February 2025
6Healthdirect, Loss of female libido, accessed 12 February 2025
7Mayo Clinic, Low sex drive in women, accessed 12 February 2025
8Harvard Health Publishing, Can supplements save your sex life? Accessed 12 February 2025
9WebMD, Better sex: What's weight got to do with it? Accessed 12 February 2025
10BJU International, The impact of smoking on sexual function, accessed 12 February 2025
11Swinburne University of Technology, Don't blame women for low libido, accessed 12 February 2025